“What ruined my atheism was a pretty girl. She was so cute, I wanted to go out on a date with her and she said, ‘Well, meet me this weekend.’ I said, ‘Great.’ And so she gave me the address.

2. It's also an immediate dealbreaker. By telling me that I'm "really pretty for a black girl," that person is letting me know that they are clueless, ignorant, and painfully unoriginal.

At 7 — the last time my peers saw or knew me — I was an overweight little girl. “Such a pretty face” my mom and other well-meaning adults would comment. But by telling a big girl she has a ...