The following column is satirical and is meant for humorous purposes only. All interviews and individuals are fictitious.

If you like what you read and want it in your inbox, sign up here. Boston’s School Committee is set to vote tonight on whether the upcoming school year will be the last for several BPS schools.

Located one mile west of the Chestnut Hill Campus, the Newton Campus is home to the Boston College Law School, athletic fields ... Proceed east on Route 30, also known as Commonwealth Avenue, and ...

Walk on Commonwealth Avenue, past the Boston College T stop, the Career Center ... If you take the D train to the Newton Centre T stop, you can walk 15–20 minutes to the Law School. After you get off ...